Taking meds

I feel conflicted about the medicine I take for PCOS. I suppose that’s because I forget the myriad problems PCOS causes and simply focus on my weight.

I feel like weight loss should be fairly simple. If you expend more calories than you use, you will lose weight. The issue being, that doesn’t actually work for me. I know, it should. I hate talking to people on weight loss forums, etc, because I will explain what I’m doing and get accused of cheating, of not tracking properly, etc, etc.

I know what you’re supposed to do to lose weight. I’ve worked with nutritionists and medical professionals. I maintain a calorie deficit that should ensure I lose two pounds a week, and I lose half a pound a month. My nutritionist always said that was normal for PCOS, and I just had to tough it out and would eventually see results. Of course, I would get to about six months of this practice and just get fed up. One part of the equation, either diet or exercise, would slip, and I would wind up gaining instead of losing and that would be it. I would be back to my wicked ways, with the scale creeping up.

What I tend not to think about is the damage that PCOS does that isn’t so visible. It puts me at risk for heart disease, diabetes, endometrial cancer, myriad fertility issues…

My Mr pointed out something about the medication that makes me feel a bit better about taking it. It’s not a weightloss drug(which it isn’t, it’s a diabetes medication), it just puts me on even footing with everyone else. I have to put in the hard work to actually lose weight, which I am. It just feels like a bit of a cop out, like I’m giving up.

That being said, I enjoy actually seeing the number on the scale move. Yes, I’m working, hard for it, but holy hell, is it satisfying. I feel like it is going to be much easier to stay motivated if I keep losing. Of course, I’m prepared to plateau, to stall. I’m not going to let it derail me. If it’s any less than six solid months of plateau, I know I can make it!

As an aside, I think I do pretty well for someone with PCOS. I’m always, trying to lose weight or not, an active person. If I ever completely stopped exercising and started eating everything, I know I would easily shoot up to 190 lbs, instead of my all time high of 175. So, even when I’m not completely focused on my weight loss efforts, I still keep moving. Heck, on my medication, I actually lost 5 lbs over the last six months, while not exercising as much and not counting any calories. So that spells out the difference for me, between having insulin resistance and not. In a period where I would have gained 10-15 lbs when my insulin levels were wacky, I lost 5 lbs. It makes me think I might actually be able to maintain a weight loss and eventually not be required to completely focus on diet/exercise to maintain a healthy weight!

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